Get a load of this here!

May is the best month of the year. You know why? Because May is full of really exciting stuff for us! And probably someone’s birthday, I’m sure.
Here’s the highlights:
Friday, May 13th at 9:30 p.m., we’re having our Loaded Guns the Movie DVD Release and Screening at the Plaza Theater!! This is so exciting, because now we have DVDs to sell. Also rad–PeopleTV is running our trailer on their channel fo’ FREE! It’s our first TV ad!!
Also, we’re getting an awesome T-shirt designed by our own Laura Krueger! We’re going to have them available to buy at the DVD release. It’s super cute, and you’re probably going to want one, so bring some extra cash or be prepared to shell out online once you see it!
Saturday, May 21st from 7-10 p.m., the Atlanta Fringe Festival is hosting their very first event, Get Your Buzz On! at Sutra Lounge, featuring awesome performances, signature Fringe cocktails at happy hour prices, and even a special Fringe cupcake! All the performers are rad and we’re getting very excited about partying with them and YOU!
PLUS, the interview and photo shoot we did with the GSU Magazine will be sent out in May! We can’t wait to read it. Hopefully they didn’t edit out the curse words…otherwise, how would people know it was us?? 🙂
We should find out any day now whether or not our proposal for Art on the Beltline has been accepted or not: fingers crossed!
And we’re getting started on filming our Choose Your Adventure web series! Which brings me to a less exciting thing…
Eli’s computer is dead.
Eli, in case you don’t know, is the guy who films and edits all of our video work. All the segments you’ve enjoyed in our shows in years past, anything funny we’ve put on YouTube, that was him. (With the exception of Jimmy Carter, which was all Julian Modugno; but even that was edited on Eli’s computer.) Without a computer, we have no way of editing and making these incredible series! (Serieses? Seriesi? Anyway, more than one series.)
So, for the first time ever, we’re going to be begging you for money, guys. We’ve always suggested it, but never really asked; we don’t like to spam people with desperate pleas for money, we know you’re all broke, and you know what we can do with limited resources anyway. But in order to provide this free programming for you, we really need your help to get this new computer! Eli has already picked it out–a good, solid iMac–and we’re putting together a Kickstarter page for it. Be looking for that and I hope you’re willing to help us out!! If you want to donate now, just click here for our donation page! You can write it off on your taxes AND, whenever a new video or episode of our web series comes out, you can say to yourself, “I totally helped them do that.” It’s a win-win!
But mostly, everything’s coming up roses in May.
In the pipeline for summer:
-Choose Your Adventure web series
-Soap opera web series
-the Drive-By Theater Project
-finally, a Cakesit album!
-more Fringe events
Look at that list! That’s HOT. That’s hot and you know it. 🙂


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Loaded Guns: the Movie COMING SOON!

Loaded Guns: the Movie Balls-Out DVD Release and Screening is FRIDAY MAY 13TH AT 9:30 P.M.! Yeah!!

Our rapid-fire John Waters-meets-Kentucky-Fried-Movie movie was made in 2008, and if you’re wondering why the DVD release is just now happening, read this. We played it to sold-out crowds in ’08 and then sent a copy to Baghdad to entertain the troops. It also won Best Local Feature in the 2008 Atlanta Underground Film Festival!

So now you can see it for yourself or see it AGAIN for yourself, and then buy a copy that you can then watch religiously until you have the entire thing memorized. HOORAY!

Here’s the trailer:

Here’s the poster:

Our bestie Rob Craig designed this poster, and he is even now working on a new poster for the DVD Release party so get ready for that sexxxxiness too!

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Partyin’ partyin’ YEAH!

I know what you’re thinking: What’s the deal, Twinhead? No Cakesit? How could you!! No show on the horizon? BUT WHYYYY???
Darling, darling, calm down! Trust us. It’s not like we’ve been sitting around having a circle jerk these past few months. We’ve been working on a lot of different projects and all that hard work is paying off: we have completed scripts and scripts nearing completion that should keep you tits-deep in Twinhead goodness! For example:

Choose Your Adventure was a play we did in 2009 wherein we paid tribute to our childhoods’ favorite books and simultaneously wrote, produced and performed the most complicated play in the world. The audience got to choose what happened next, and not being a bunch of half-asses, there were of course choices within the choices that led to different choices. Essentially it was eight different full-length plays and we never knew what order we’d be doing them until it was happening. Needless to say, this project was totally exhilarating and can’t be doomed to the fogs of the past. So, when we started bandying about ideas for a Twinhead web series, Choose Your Adventure seemed a natural choice. We can do a lot more with the video format than we could manage onstage, and no choice will be sacrificed because people can watch any and all videos they want! (True story: During the entire run of the play, the Holocaust didn’t happen.)
So we set to adapting that idea and its long, complicated stage script into a video format and we have our pilot episode completed! Look for some of that hottness to hit computer screens everywhere!

We’re also putting together a proposal for a performance for Art on the Beltline, which is this cool project that gets all kinds of artists’ work along the 22-mile loop of proposed parks and transit and highlights how it can bring Atlanta together. We’re really excited about the idea we came up with and we really hope to be accepted, so keep your fingers crossed!

And of course we’re hard at work planning and organizing the first Atlanta Fringe Festival! Cherry is working up some really amazing stuff for our graphic design, and Diana and Molly are planning the first official Fringe event at Sutra Lounge. Plus we’re getting more and more venues signed on and generally just getting the ball rolling.

Then there’s the full-length play about songs that incessantly get stuck in your head and the previously unknown consequences and another web series based on much-loved soap operas like Dallas and Dynasty, and our Loaded Guns: the Movie Balls-Out DVD Release and Screening at the Plaza. SO! You see? You had no reason to fear. We are still here for you! And we’re never gonna leave you. NEVER. Even if you ask us to.

We just won’t do it.

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Balls out!! Loaded Guns: the Movie is BACK!

Back in 2008, we made our first movie. It was based on our sketch comedy series, Loaded Guns, and the end result was something like John Waters directing Kentucky Fried Movie. It was inappropriate. It was raucous. It was for mature audiences only. It was…LOADED GUNS: THE MOVIE.

Awesome poster courtesy of Rob Craig, one bad motherfucker.

We screened it at the Plaza Theater twice, and a lot of people saw it. For a minute, it really felt like things were comin’ up Twinhead. We had a show you could take home with you and show to your friends; we had a sample of our work that we could use to attract new audiences; and best of all, we had made a movie we were really proud of. The world was our oyster.

And then: disaster.

The movie was stored on an external hard drive, and one day that hard drive just…died. It just died. And no matter how hard we tried to revive it, how many geek squads we took it to, how many seances we held, we just couldn’t get it back. And what’s worse, we couldn’t retrieve any of the information we had on it, namely: THE ENTIRE FUCKING MOVIE.

For awhile there, it looked like the only copy left in the entire world was the copy we had burned and sent to Baghdad with an American soldier, who said it was well-received in the barracks. But it’s not like we could go to Baghdad and ask for it back. We had nothing to show for our hard work but our bitter, bitter tears.

like this, but there were 15 of us.

But then, one day, a miracle occurred. Eli (from Twinhead) and Julian and Jamie (from Bland Hack) were able to find pieces of the movie scattered around their three computers, different cuts, different sound edits, small differences like that, and managed to put together a COMPLETE LOADED GUNS! Available for the first time!

So now we’re really excited. I mean, we haven’t seen it in a long time either! So we’re getting copies burned and cases made and planning a really awesome re-release screening at the Plaza for April. We can’t wait!!
Here’s the trailer:

Check out our YouTube page for more offerings from our twisted minds and we’ll keep you posted on the official details of the Loaded Guns: the Movie re-release! Say it with me now: BALLS OUT!

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The Hand of Death

This could have been America: FTW Part II

This series of blog posts are intended to make use of all that damn research we did and couldn’t fit into the show itself, and also to give you a little taste of the many varied bodies our shows go through before they’re given their true shape and form. Enjoy!

As our last post illustrated, Edward Bernays was just what we were looking for when we were looking for a supervillain. But there were four faces of evil that showed themselves to us and were dying for a good mocking. Bernays was just one. Here is another: The Hand of Death cult.

From left: Edward Bernays, the RAND Corporation, the Hand of Death cult, and the Boy Scouts of America, pictured here in a rare moment of NOT engaging in heinous behavior.

Let it go ahead and be said that The Hand of Death, among all our supervillains, is the only one that is probably not real. OR IS IT? There are so few facts and so much wild speculation that, unless they themselves called a press conference, it’s pretty impossible to know if they actually exist. I tend to believe that they don’t, but that might just be wishful thinking.

Here are the facts:
Ottis Toole was a really creepy dude, and he killed a lot of people, most famously Adam Walsh, the son of John Walsh, the host of America’s Most Wanted. Unfortunately for Toole, he had a shitty family. His mom dressed him in girl’s clothes, his older sister slept with him, and his grandmother was a Satanist and made him rob graves and cut himself, and he had to fuck his dad’s best friend when he was 5. Plus he had epilepsy and was probably retarded. So naturally, he turned to arson and murder. What can you really expect from the guy? Was he gonna be a lawyer or something? Really. You think so? Fuck you and your judgements.

Regardless of his background, it’s widely recognized that Ottis Toole was a completely horrible person who did horrible shit and is totally burning in Hell right now, if you’re into that kind of thing or, if you’re not, he has totally become one with all creation. Doesn’t…quite…have the same ring to it….

At any rate, Ottis Toole claimed to have killed 108 people and said that sometimes–not all the time, because sometimes he killed for s’s and g’s–he killed people for a cult called the Hand of Death.

This cult was also named by Henry Lee Lucas, a contemporary of Toole’s, as well as Charles Manson and the Son of Sam. Reliable sources all.

Pictured: a reliable source.

Here’s the hearsay:
The Hand of Death is located at a mobile paramilitary base in the Everglades, where they teach people all kinds of specialized skills like arson, car theft, kidnapping, child abduction, rape and murder. The cult also takes part in Satanic rituals, including cannibalization and crazy drug and sex orgies that make your Saturday night rager look like a Monday morning. Not only that, but the Hand of Death is supposed to be involved in abducting children to sell to wealthy couples on a “gray market,” so named because it is as depressing as it sounds. There’s no limit: necrophilia, child pornography, drug trafficking. Whatever you want, the Hand of Death is there to hold your hair back while you do it.

So obviously we really wanted to make fun of the Hand of Death cult and make them look like total bitches. But then we Google-image-searched for “the hand of death” and this picture came up:

So you see, sometimes these things take care of themselves.

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Addicted to bacon? Blame this guy

This could have been America: FTW Part I

This series of blog posts are intended to make use of all that damn research we did and couldn’t fit into the show itself, and also to give you a little taste of the many varied bodies our shows go through before they’re given their true shape and form. Enjoy!

For awhile, America FTW was going to have recurring characters, and we discussed having a supervillain who was responsible for all the evil bullshit that was going down throughout history. But who could it be? I mean, the Illuminati is cliche, and let’s face it, the unholy trinity of Bush, Dick and Rove is way too obvious. During our research, however, there emerged the brilliantly arrogant father of public relations, Edward Bernays.

Handsome and witty, this man’s mustache could sell anything.

Bernays was Sigmund Freud’s nephew and a bonafide spin doctor. He was so good at propaganda that Goebbels, Hitler’s right-hand man, used Bernays’ book to establish his propaganda campaign against the Jews in Germany. That’s talent. Bernays essentially used all the psychoanalysis his good ol’ uncle Siggy was laying down on him and used it to sway public opinion. For example, it was Bernays who established bacon and eggs as the All-American breakfast. He asked a bunch of physicians if they thought people should eat a hearty breakfast, and when they said yes, he turned around and told all of us that our doctors wanted us to eat a hearty breakfast while showing us a picture of bacon and eggs. No attention is called to the bacon; it’s just there, and that insidious subtlety does the trick. Suddenly, it just ain’t breakfast without bacon.

Or sausage, eggs, pancakes, eggs, toast, cereal, toast, milk and juice.

Now, even though his power of salesmanship got used by the wrong people and even though he made us all way fatter than we would have been, the guy wasn’t all bad. It turns out Bernays had a soft side: he also successfully hosted the very first NAACP convention right here in Atlanta, GA using a campaign that focused the convention on the very useful things black people have done for Southern white people. The NAACP was so impressed that nobody was maimed or beaten up or killed at that convention that they let Bernays handle their PR for years after.
He also really helped out the tobacco industry when he hired a bunch of models to march in the New York City parade and smoke cigarettes. He told the press they were a bunch of suffragettes lighting “Torches of Freedom.” The press ate it up and the taboo of women smoking in public was broken. One glass ceiling down, ladies!

Unfortunately I think all that glass landed in my cigarette. Oh well, whatevs!

Bernays didn’t stop with the tobacco industry, though. He’s a helping kind of guy. When the U.S. government and the United Fruit Company (but you can call me Chiquita Banana) needed help overthrowing the democratically elected president of Guatemala so they could pay laborers nothing to pick bananas day in and day out, Bernays didn’t hesitate. He portrayed Jacobo Arbenz Guzman as a communist and now bananas are cheap, cheap, cheap! And also a part of your complete breakfast.

Though the real mystery is how they managed to make the most phallic fruit in the world into a sexy woman banana.

Seriously. It’s like a cross-dressing penis.

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Loaded Guns: the aftermath


Srsly, you guys, Loaded Guns: America FTW! went even better than we could have dreamed. We sold out the whole weekend, which is a FIRST for us! We usually do pretty well but we’ve never been standing room only for an entire weekend. A lot of new cast members equaled a lot of new audience members, and they really seemed to enjoy themselves even though they had no idea what to expect. AND we’ve been getting so many compliments on the show itself! People said it was their favorite show yet, that it got better and better the more you thought about it, that it was smart, witty, and funny, and that they’d never seen anything like it. We just can’t get over how great the response has been. This is just what we were looking for when we decided to dig back into our comedy roots and do another zany, crazy comedy with a huge cast–it’s just a fun, electrifying feeling that can’t be equaled by anything else, and clearly it’s your favorite thing that we do.

The only thing that REALLY sucked is that our friend and one of our new cast members, Evelyn Danielle Butler, got super sick on Saturday and wasn’t able to finish out the run with us. That was a major bummer because she is awesome. Those of you who saw the show on Friday, you’re lucky!! You got to witness her awesome in action. We missed you, Evelyn! Hope you’re feeling 100% better!

We learned a whole lot during our research for writing this show, and in an effort to retain some of that learnin’, I want to share some of that information with you, because it was really interesting and we didn’t get to fit everything in that we wanted to because then the play would have been…let’s see…518 years long. Oh well. Anyway, be looking for some well-written and insightful posts about Edward Bernays, the RAND Corporation, the Libertarian Floating Castle, Ida McKinley, Baron von Steuben, and more. I personally am very much looking forward to writing these posts so I hope you’re also looking forward to reading them. Trust me, they might sound academic but you know I’ll throw in a curse word here and there to make sure you’re paying attention.

Thanks to everyone who made it out this weekend! If you didn’t, that’s cool; it’s your loss and you should have been there.
Don’t look at me like that.
I said, don’t look at me like–
Fine. FINE! I shouldn’t give this to you, but I will. Here is a link to a bunch of photos that our friend Eddie Ray took, and below is video Eddie took of some of the dance numbers. I also uploaded one of the sketches we filmed called Squaw Swap; we’ll be putting ALL of the show up on our YouTube channel as time permits, and this is the first thing that made it on there. YOU’RE WELCOME. I hope you enjoy! Check back later for more video or like us on Facebook!

So, what’s next, you say? When are we performing next? What show are we doing? What about cakesit? I CAN’T HEAR YOU!! LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA!!!

Lemme get back to you on that….

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